We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
