just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
