ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
