Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
