i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
