please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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