ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So squirting runs in the family.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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