I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize