you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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