Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
