His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
