i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
