It's Friday. Sex?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
