a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
