i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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