Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
