Porn is love you can see.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
