I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
