how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
