I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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