No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
