He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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