Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
