Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
