I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
