It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
