I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
