No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
