Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
