is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Your tits are I can't wait for
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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