Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Girls should come with a carfax report
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
