I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
