You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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