Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize