It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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