I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
