Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
