my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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