my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
