i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
