ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
