when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
