Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
