This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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