this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
