Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
