I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
