in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
