what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
