I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
