I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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