Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize