Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
