Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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