That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
