So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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