yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
