I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
