yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
