from now on my penis is your penis
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
