Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Did I show you my penis last night?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
