absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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