apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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